Coming to Israel can be exciting & challenging and at other times frightening & daunting. In the list of stressful activities moving country & home, changing language & culture and starting a new job places you high up on the scale of people at risk of emotional difficulties. There is sometimes a real sense of euphoria, and a sense of ease in starting up a new life in Israel. But even during periods of feeling positive and creative, almost every Oleh or Olah goes through moments of soul-searching & home-sickness.It sounds scary, but Aliyah can be likened to moments of loss & bereavement because of the sharp changes in living as an immigrant. Feelings of shock, anger, frustration & depression may come up for you. Like grief – it can sometimes feel utterly overwhelming. The good news is that people do make it and come through the other side feeling enriched by the experience. Some can manage stresses by their relationships within their families and communities, others may want to seek out more professional support either through organisations such as Nefesh bNefesh, the AACI or other olim-support centres. Others will want a more intensive and confidential support through sessions with a therapist.
Someone talking about their experience of Aliyah said that they didn't feel totally Israeli until after 5 years of being a citizen of the State. This having been said it’s really up to the individual; their personality & social-economic wellbeing, that makes one feel part of the Israeli community. Some people fit quickly in, others may take a lot longer to find their feet. And even when we're settled in and “Israelified” there are times when being here can feel like a confusing mess. It’s also important to bare in mind how others are doing – if you came with a family or partner you’ll need to be aware that they will go through different stages of absorption at different times. Having worked with families of immigrants, children are very good at adapting, but sometimes (even when the rest of the family is doing great) getting into a new school environment or coping with the changes in language can be too stressful. Encourage other members of your family to do something which they enjoy and which relaxes them.
Learning the language & culture is sometimes the most daunting. As a new Oleh/Olah there's lots of new ways of going about things - being able to communicate with the bank & phone company, being able to find employment through personal connections. At times, it can feel incredibly de-skilling. You're not alone! But the good news is that Israel was founded by immigrants, new immigrants can and do make it in Israel. Being patient with yourself & others is so important when you want the language skills NOW. You might want to do things like volunteer to get work & language experience without the pressure of professional responsibilities, alternatively you may need to take the plunge and get into the Israeli workforce immediately, and be coping with the challenges of new languages & office cultures.
After the initial spurt of growth as a new citizen comes a period of consolidation – taking stock in a conscious way can be really helpful in making sense of what you’ve done and where you’re going. You may want to set aside some time to map out on a piece of paper where you have come from, where you are now and where you want to be. Be creative – you can write, draw, sculpt how you are thinking and feeling about past, present & future.
Perhaps a big issue of making Aliyah is staying in contact with family & friends. Keeping in touch with the past can be helpful and bring us support, for others it’s important to give yourself time before you make connections with the past. Many chose to “put on a brave face” when talking to non-Olim. But it’s important to ensure you have a person/place where you can turn to and talk about some of the difficulties. Allow yourself time to get used to the new ways of living. Be honest about life in “the old country” – no where was/is ever all-perfect & all-wonderful.
In moments of stress, remember that there are things that you can do to help soften the emotional pressures – go for walks, listen to your favourite music, dance, you might just want to take out 20 minutes of your day where you do something that relaxes you.
Transition can be eased through lots of different ways. The information and advice given above are a few of the paths you can take to surviving Aliyah. The most important thing is to realise that people around you are experiencing similar things, and that you do not need to do this on your own.
